BLOCKED

Ugh!

I have managed to block myself away from writing.

I have some theories as to how and why, but not a lot of luck in working through far enough to really write more than a few sentences.

I haven't even managed to blog.

Ugh!

But technically this is a blog post.

Okay.

Writing.

Not work related writing. Not writing assignments or email to students. Not lesson planning.

Writing.

I'm writing.

Ugh!

Imaginary Obstacles

All week I have been thinking about a book project I put down a few years ago. I was wondering, yet again, what the best approach to telling this particular story should be. I have recently been in the building where important events of the story took place. I began to write a bit in my head about visiting the site of a murder. I even thought of some new things to write about. Maybe it is time to revisit this concept; the last time I seriously looked at it was back when I attended the Napa Valley Writer's Conference during the summer of 2010. The story I want to write about is true, but I am afraid that it will hurt the survivors, so someone suggested that I fictionalize it.

It feels like it is time to move the obstacles out of the way. I may not be able to get completely around all of them at this time, but I am feeling as if I need to revisit the idea.

So today I opened the long unused files; thankfully they survived the hard drive crash from last Fall because I back up pretty regularly. I opened the most recent version of the book proposal and found quite a bit of information I had forgotten.

I knew that I had done some writing. I knew that I had done a decent amount of research, but I had not yet made my way to the county courthouse where presumably there sits a treasure trove of vital information. I was thinking that it is time to figure out how to map out the story so that I can move forward with the project.

What I found was summaries of 15 chapters!!! I have already done so much work on this project! Zounds! I have already organized the story and built the table of contents.

I think I have found my summer project. I am teaching in the middle of the day M-Th this summer, but it is only one class and I will have time to breath, maybe even time to research and write. Whooppeee!

When I really examine the obstacles in my way, realize that they are mostly imaginary. Nothing is so large that I can't write my way around it. This could be a really good summer.

Oh, never mind

"Scent Memories" is not actually going to be published right now. The lit journal that accepted it has gone on an extended hiatus. Blah. Back to the submission board.

Burning Out the Old (again)

As is our family tradition, last night was spent with a small gathering at home. We used the last hour or so of 2011 to burn out old issues from the year and manifest new energies for the new year. Sitting around the fire pit, each of us wrote on a piece of wood (or two) and tossed the fuel into the already roaring flames.

Several months ago I was feeling distracted and burdened by a box of rejection letters I had sitting on a shelf in my office. I queried suggestions on FB for dealing with them and decided that burning them at end of the year sounded like the most satisfying.

There were several years when the letters were a representation that I am, in fact, a writer because I had written enough to send pieces out for possible publication and been rejected. There were several rejections for one essay that is about to be released in an anthology. Realizing that this one particular essay had to be turned away before it was ultimately accepted felt pretty good.

I kept a few letters out of the burn pile because they had specific remarks or feedback that were complimentary or that I wasn't sure I had recorded in electronic version. I keep a record of where and when I send writing out and what the basic responses were. This way of course I don't resend the same piece out redundantly.

After watching the papers burn it occurred to me that even if I missed a couple of nice words, there is simply no need to keep anything negative around. I don't need rejections to prove I am a writer. I no longer feel the need for that particular badge of honor.

So I tossed the rest in and watched them release the last of the negative energy that I know will ultimately be reabsorbed into life in general and redistributed into something more productive.

Annotation Nation

A FB friend just pointed this site out. As I haven't been offering annotations/book reviews lately, this site offers ongoing additions.


http://annotationnation.wordpress.com/

It's been a long time coming

For the first time, I am writing about my first marriage.

Twenty-nine years ago, today, I swapped vows with my first husband. It ended badly a few months later.

For a good portion of my adult life I wouldn't even admit to the marriage. I used to make a point of wording my sentences very carefully when discussing former husbands so that someone had to listen very, very carefully to hear that I could count more than two. I have a son from my second marriage and a daughter from my third (which is where I parked and have stayed for 22+ years), so it is impossible not to refer to at least one ex-husband. I was mighty clever for a long time, and no one figured it out.

In recent years I have been more open about it, but I share very little information with anyone beyond my immediate family and close circle of friends. I'm honestly not sure exactly who knows what because I talk about it so little.

I was trying to decide if the story I am ready to tell would be best written as an essay or a short story. So far the essay approach is winning out.

I'm kind of excited.

Acceptance at Last!!!

I was going to post the acceptance email here. But it felt odd, so I won't. I had an essay, currently entitled "Scent Memories," accepted for publication by a press called Insolent Aardvark.

Insolent Aardvark

It is one of my favorite pieces that has been rejected by six other publications. I did a reading of it 2 or more years ago for the Redwood Writers Club and got a really good response. I changed the title for this submission; titles are not my strongest writing, so I'm wondering if that last change is was pushed it over the top and got it accepted.

I sent it out because my friend James Celestino had a short story accepted by the same publication. They asked him if he could refer some non-fiction writers because they didn't have enough pieces from the open submission period. He contacted me, I sent one it and IT WAS ACCEPTED!!

Funnily enough I'm not jumping up and down screaming, as I have done in the past when something was accepted for publication. I am feeling okay about it. And posting the information online. And texting my kids. *sigh*

Triumph is a good feeling.