Anticipation

I had three essays out for consideration. One was rejected, so I immediately sent it back out to another publication. I received word that another was also not chosen, but I haven't really had the focus to resend it, so for now it has returned to the back of my mind.

As of this writing, I am waiting on two responses, one is due any day now, and the anticipation is killing me. It is a tremendously personal piece (I know, I'm a memoirist, what isn't personal about my writing?), although the subject matter has a far more universal appeal than I think most editors would like to admit, and I really am not sure if the editor (Dinty W. Moore) will see the appeal. The finalists are set to be announced in September, and the month is waning.

I've spent some time obsessively stalking the publication and my submittable account and learned nothing.

Did I mention that the anticipation is killing me?

Creating Rituals with Pants

I learned many good things in graduate school about craft and the writing process. One suggestion was about creating a writing ritual. The idea is to have a ritual that always precedes and/or includes the act of writing. This, along with a regular writing practice (re: daily), is good advice that came from well-grounded writers.

Some of my colleagues began lighting candles when they sit down to write. Others have specifics things at hand: computer, pencil/pen and paper, a favorite visual object, etc. One writing friend outlines his entire project on paper on the wall before sitting down to write.

I purchased a pair of writing pants.

I only wear these subtle pants when I am writing. At home. I've not yet ventured down to the local coffee house in them. When the hubby sees me wearing them he smiles that special, "atta girl" smile that I love.

I'm wearing my pants now, so I'm off to create. :-)

Out There Again

I just sent of another essay out for consideration in an online literary journal. That makes three this summer. That may not sound like much, but considering how little writing I have done in the last few years, this is a big deal for me.

They say that the art is in the revision. If that is the case, then I have been particularly artistic of late. One piece was written ten years ago. Another was started in 2008, and today's submission is the youngest, only dating back to early 2015.

The oldest piece was the most difficult to revise, it tells the story of the year I was ten and being molested by my guitar teacher. I have submitted it in the past with no luck. One respondent suggested that the story didn't have a very universal appeal. Ha! That is funny. Considering that 25% of girls and 20% of boys report sexual abuse, this is hardly an isolated phenomenon. The respondent was clearly in deep, deep denial or simply clueless.

With all that being said, it needed a good revision. But it took a long time before I could read it over and over again and make the necessary cuts and revisions. The end result is a piece that is leaner and more focused, with a clearer arc and theme. The fact that I spent most of a weekend dealing with panic attacks is a side-effect that was well worth the effort.

I'll let you know what happens!

Re-Immersing Myself in Creativity

I've had to face my writer's block head-on these last few months as I explore who I am outside of the classroom, and I find myself with many of the feelings my composition students complain about:

I don't know how to start.
Everything I write sounds like shit.
I can't think of anything to write.
It takes me forever to write a few hundred words.

And worst of all:
I don't think I am a writer anymore.

A colleague at work, award winning author Jody Gerhman, recently initiated "writing dates." We meet for a few hours a week, spend some time talking about our projects, then spend time working on said projects.

These weekly sessions have forced me back into my creative life. I lost a great deal of ground in this aspect of my life because I was so focused on building my teaching resume, finding full-time work, then trying to prove that I am worthy of tenure. Now that I feel reasonably secure and I safely on the tenure-track, refocusing some of my brain power and effort certainly makes sense.

Jody's influence has sent me back to fiction writing; I am working on a new novel idea and begun reworking on an old idea. She introduced me to the Scrivner app ; this is lots of fun and so much better than using Word! I have pulled out a ten year old essay about the year I was molested by my guitar teacher and begun a heavy revision. I've submitted an essay to a literary contest. I have created an author page on Facebook and updated my website (although that still needs work).

Facing my writer's block has given me greater insight into my own process; I've had to take my own advice and learned to honor my writing process, to push the critical editor in my head aside. I haven't quite managed to put her into a jar as Anne Lamott suggests, but I do feel like I am gaining some ground over the negativity. I have a bit more sympathy for my students, which will likely improve my teaching this year. By re-immersing myself in my own creative life, I feel as though my full self is becoming more rounded, more healthy and more productive.

Revisiting Old Posts

FROM 2010

A reason for book lists
Here comes the cliche:
In order to be a good writer, an aspiring writer must be a reader.

I do read a lot. I have a very bad habit of going from one book to the next, a bit like an addict I suppose (big surprise). I don't always take the time to digest the contents before I move onto the next fix.

Instead of just chewing them up and spitting them out, I thought it would be interesting to begin a list of non-fiction books I have read (and enjoyed) in the last few years. I'll do this periodically, and possibly add in novels as I go.

Consider this Part 1. Some new and some classics (in no particular order):
The Possibility of Everything by Hope Edelman
Shot in the Heart by Mikal Gilmore
Columbine by Dave Cullen
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote




Part 2 of my list of favorite non-fiction books, but this time I'm going to include some exploration of what I enjoyed about each one.

Fire in a Cane Break: The Last Mass Lynching in America by Laura Wexler
Lynchings are not a new concept, and one reason many stories are still timely is because the silence surrounding the perpetrators is slowly cracking. This leads, in a few cases at least, to prosecution of the evil doers. This book takes the time to solve a decades old mystery. The author spent probably hundreds of hours doing research and tracking down the living survivors, guilty and innocent, of a horrific and unjustified mass lynching. Wexler takes what could be a fairly simple story and tells it in a way that is always riveting. I find her combination of reporting and suspense building to be inspiring.

Wrapped in Rainbows: Life of Zora Neale Hurston by Valerie Boyd
I originally purchased this book because I wanted to work with Valerie in my graduate program. I did work with her, but didn't read the book until a few years later in preparation to teach a Hurston novel for a community college English class. This book is the first time that someone attempted to unravel the various stories that Hurston told about herself to get to the truth of an extraordinary life. A fascinating story, and great insight, about a fascinating woman.

Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
Why are we fascinated with serial killers? Never mind, don't try and answer that. Just read this book. Larson does a wonderful job of telling the stories of the Chicago World's Fair just before the turn of the 20th century, one of the first serial killers who preyed on people who flocked to the fair, and the detective who cracked the murder cases. The author's only flaw is his tendency to take on the lofty tone and sentence structure of the men of late 19th century Chicago, and to refer to historical happenings that were (sometimes only peripherally) related to the story as if we all know all the stories. It sucks to be on the outside of an inside joke without enough information to find the story yourself.

Let's Not Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller
I could relate to most of Fuller's experience even though she grew up in Africa on a ranch and I grew up in a small town in the U.S. The woman simply has a great way of telling a story. An interesting life doesn't hurt.

Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
On one hand this is an incredibly inspiring book. A young girl lives through cancer, the chemotherapy and years of failed reconstructive surgeries. She is a world-class poet and all around fun gal. On the other hand it is depressing because she ultimately died of a drug overdose. It is still a great read.


Books Part 3
This time around are three completely different books; each is an incredible piece of literature for very different reasons.

Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing
This story has been told already, several times in fact. It has been the subject of at least two other books, including a pictorial of the actual events as captured by the ship's photographer. Lansing's style of story-telling, however, takes the reader far beyond the retelling of a harrowing event. He spends time developing characters, much like a novelist would, and he begins with the ship herself as she struggles to survive long enough to see her crew off safely. Riveting, fascinating and sometimes terribly disturbing, I could not put this down.


Lit: A Memoir by Mary Karr
This is a follow-up to Karr's earlier memoir, The Liars' Club, where she danced deftly between observing her parent's demons and fending them off. Here she attacks only her demons, and does so in a brutally honest and incredibly creative way. Not may authors can get away with prose like:

"Through that fishbowl lens, you’ve been looking for the truth most of your life. Recently that wide eye has come to settle on me and I’ve felt like Odysseus, albeit with less guile and fewer escape routes, the lens itself embodying the one-eyed Cyclops."

AND

"I shit you not!"

And once again she goes beyond the naval gazing effect of the confessional memoir to share her descent into alcoholism and climb out into the arms of her newly discovered God. So good on so many levels.


The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison
This is not for the faint of heart. It is the story surrounding Harrison's incestuous relationship with her estranged father. There are no real details of the sexual encounters included, only the raw emotional truth that resulted. I kept asking myself how something so horrific could be written so beautifully. I have read some of her fiction, which is quite good, but the level of writing here is above and beyond the other attempts at retelling her story through fictional characters. As difficult as this must have been for her to write (and I once heard her tell a story about just that) the truth truly set her creative powers free.