I've had to face my writer's block head-on these last few months as I explore who I am outside of the classroom, and I find myself with many of the feelings my composition students complain about:
I don't know how to start.
Everything I write sounds like shit.
I can't think of anything to write.
It takes me forever to write a few hundred words.
And worst of all:
I don't think I am a writer anymore.
A colleague at work, award winning author Jody Gerhman, recently initiated "writing dates." We meet for a few hours a week, spend some time talking about our projects, then spend time working on said projects.
These weekly sessions have forced me back into my creative life. I lost a great deal of ground in this aspect of my life because I was so focused on building my teaching resume, finding full-time work, then trying to prove that I am worthy of tenure. Now that I feel reasonably secure and I safely on the tenure-track, refocusing some of my brain power and effort certainly makes sense.
Jody's influence has sent me back to fiction writing; I am working on a new novel idea and begun reworking on an old idea. She introduced me to the Scrivner app ; this is lots of fun and so much better than using Word! I have pulled out a ten year old essay about the year I was molested by my guitar teacher and begun a heavy revision. I've submitted an essay to a literary contest. I have created an author page on Facebook and updated my website (although that still needs work).
Facing my writer's block has given me greater insight into my own process; I've had to take my own advice and learned to honor my writing process, to push the critical editor in my head aside. I haven't quite managed to put her into a jar as Anne Lamott suggests, but I do feel like I am gaining some ground over the negativity. I have a bit more sympathy for my students, which will likely improve my teaching this year. By re-immersing myself in my own creative life, I feel as though my full self is becoming more rounded, more healthy and more productive.
